I want Claire to be one of the "Cool Girls." I want her to be comfortable in her own skin, be comfortable around boys and be athletic enough to kick some guy's ass if need be. I want her to love sports and be able to hold her own with anyone. I don't want her to be a "Queen Bee" or a "Wanna Be." I don't want her to be a prissy girl. I want her to want the absolute opposite of that.
I wasn't a "queen bee" or a "wanna be," being one of those girls wasn't on the top of my list. But I certainly wasn't one of the cool girls. I was about as straight-laced as they come. I didn't drink, didn't smoke or hang out with all the wrong guys. I was a goody-two shoes. I was prissy. I was also fairly shy around those who didn't know me and extremely awkward around boys. What I really wanted was to be a "Cool Girl" where I could look like I felt totally at ease with the guys. I was always far too concerned about my hair and make-up being perfect to ever let myself go enough to be at ease around boys. I tried to maintain an aura of perfection but what really wanted to be was a cool girl.
I look at Claire and I have hope for her to be one of the cool girls. She goes to school in t-shirts and sweat pants, running a brush through her hair just enough to get the big tangles out and throw it in a ponytail. She doesn't fuss about her appearance and I try hard to lay off so she doesn't turn out like me. She goes to her brothers' hockey games and cheers louder than any of the other fans (except me...I have perfected the obnoxious, hockey mom voice). Her "Let's Go Royals" and "Go Pokey" echo through the rink. Claire knows the game of hockey. She can talk hockey with the best of them. I think that puts her in the "Cool Girl" category. I love that she knows so much about her brothers' sports. I love that she knows so much about her own sport and her brothers can talk to her about how much time she has dropped from meet to meet. I think she'll want to be one of the "Cool Girls." I want her to want to stay away from the "Queen Bee" and her entourage. There is too much pressure with that group of girls. I am sure there is pressure with the "Cool Girls" too but in my mind the pressure from being a cool girl is to always push yourself just a little harder each day to get better and better at your sport and your academics.
I will try hard to lead Claire away from the prissy path and onto a path where she can be herself without too much pressure to be someone she's not. That's a tall order but I am up to the task for the love of my daughter....