When I hit the big 4-0 I found a self confidence I didn't have before. I have more of a devil may care attitude. I don't really care what others think when I act silly or goofy. I can laugh at myslef. I feel at ease in my own skin. I feel like I can walk into a room full of strangers and be OK. I wouldn't really like it but I could do OK. I still have anxieties and hang-ups but who doesn't? I just feel a little less inhibitied and reserved.
The one area where I can lack self confidence right now in on the tennis court. It is the beginning of tennis season so I'm thinking a lot of my blogs could be about tennis...today's is about tennis AND self confidence. They go hand in hand.
In recent weeks I have been put on the first and second lines in both singles and doubles. I am not so sure I believe I should be there. Last year I played third singles and third doubles. I did OK there. After the first serve of my first singles match last season I had a bad case of the jitters. As my rallies went on and on, and I found myself returning the ball with ease, I felt confident and strong. I felt like I earned the right to be there, playing third line singles. Last week as I took to the courts to play second line singles my nerves were jangled and kept ratcheting up higher and higher as I lost more and more ground. I felt my self confidence slipping away. Tennis is a head game and if you don't believe you should be there you shouldn't.
I need to recaputure my self confidence so I can succeed not only for me but to show my kids to power through any self confidence issues so THEY can succeed in life. Now, I know this is only suburban league tennis in Richmond, Virginia and I understand I am not going to Wimbleton or the U.S. Open but tennis is a way for me to take care of myself as a mom. Tennis is how (and why) I try to keep in shape. Tennis boosts my self confidence, when I let it. I need to believe I belong on the first and second lines of the line-up because when I have self confidence I am able to pass it on to my kids.
Self confidence is for the love of my children...