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Saturday, May 7, 2011

I'm Just Not Sure

I am just not sure Lucas is going to make it out of this phase of his life. He reminds me of when he was three and four years old. He was tough to handle and tested every shred of patience I had in my body. We are right back to where we started with Lucas years ago and I am not sure I can do it again.

Out of all three of my kids Lucas has always been a sweetheart and such a pleasant baby. When he hit two and a half all hell broke loose with him. There were days I would wish and wish I didn't have to take Lucas on errands with me. I felt my life would have been sooo much easier if I could have left Lucas at home. He would have worn Mother Theresa out with his constant badgering, endless barrage of questions and relentless pursuit of whatever his object of the day was. I often said, in those days, it was a good thing Lucas was sweet and adorable or he never would have made it out of that stage alive.

I feel the same way now. Lucas is still sweet and adorable. He still has a larger than life personality and has never met a stranger. He is quick to laugh and slow to anger. He wakes up with a smile on his face and brings sunshine into our house. I love all these things about Lucas. BUT, and it is a big but right now, he is driving me beyond crazy with his scattered thoughts, goofy questions and inability to concentrate on anything and everything. He ran out in a parking lot the other night ~ right in front of a car. He didn't look left or right...he just RAN. I was always told there is never a dumb question but Lucas is testing the limits on this one. He asks some of the most inappropriate questions of everyone. I don't know where his brain is. He is struggling in his school right now. He used to be the one who would come home, do his homework and get a jump on the next assignment ~ not anymore. He blows off so much of his work. He knows I will check up on him and find out assignments aren't done but it doesn't stop him from failing to complete his work. I feel like I have four year old Lucas again.

Lucas is still so lucky he is sweet and adorable or one of us might not make it out of this latest phase of his life. I just not so sure which one it would be.

Oh, for the love of Lucas...

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