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Sunday, May 15, 2011

It Just Ended

I was talking on the phone to my friend last night when she said she needed to go. I could hear her kiddos in the back ground calling for her. She is single momming it this week and her kids needed her to tuck them in bed. Until recently, that was my life too.

Every night the kids would call down to me to snuggle and tuck them in. Every night I would stop whatever I was doing, climb the stairs to their rooms, tuck them in and snuggle with them for a little bit. As the kids grew older and older Stan would question why the heck I was still tucking them in and snuggling with them. I kept telling Stan it wouldn't last forever. I needed to do it while the kids still wanted me to.

As I was talking to my friend I realized my time tucking my kiddos in time is finished. I can't pin point the time when it ended, all I know is my time tucking my kids in and snuggling with them in their beds has come to an end. There was no fanfare, no telling the kids it was time to end my nightly treks to their rooms ~ it just ended.

I remember other milestones in their lives with such clarity. The time came for them to stop their bottles and drink from a cup. There were the potty training adventures. The first days off at school brings back floods of memeories and emotions. I don't know why or how this milestone slipped past unnoticed. There are times when I still go into their rooms and give them the one last goodnight kiss ~ I can't help myself. But my nightly ritual has ended without so much as a by your leave.

Is this the way it will be now ~ milestones slipping past unnoticed? I hope not. I need to make sure other times don't just end...for the love of my children.

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