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Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Unsolicited Advice For Men

This past weekend I had the, uh, pleasure of watching middle aged men try to pick up women. What a comedy scene and to some degree a complete and utter tragedy. These men made me laugh out loud with their dimwitted pick up lines. Do men seriously NOT know what it takes to win a woman over? This got me to thinking...I think men need a list of rules.

Seriously, I think they do. Remember the book from a few years ago about rules women need to follow to land the man of their dreams? Well, I think men need to follow a few too. The dating scene is a game. (What most of us don't realize is that the game also continues on into marriage.) So, I am going to level the playing field just a little for all of the men (and women) out there by giving you a little cheat sheet on how to play the game and win...

~ For Men Only ~

1. Be sincere. Women like sincerity. Women like to feel just a little special in the eyes of a guy. Little compliments here and there...something, anything to make a woman feel just a tiny bit more special than she did a minute before. Pretty eyes, beautiful smile...anything from the neck up. No boobs, no butts, no curves, just something sincere about who she is as person not as an object.

2. Most women cringe when they hear a cheesy pick up line. Really, they do. So don't do it.

3. DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT tell a woman you just met what you want to do to her. Telling her you want to "lick her" will either result in a swift kick to the groin or uncontrollable laughter at your ineptitude and sheer idiocy...or maybe a combination of both.

4. HOT is NOT a compliment. Don't care what you think...it's not. There are a few applications for it much later on in a relationship but in the beginning it's just creepy and sleazy, in my list of rules. Pretty, sexy, funny, smart, charming, adorable these are all perfect adjectives.

5. Conversation is the key to being connected to a woman. Women need to feel emotionally connected and they get there through conversation. Without conversation there is no connection. Without a connection there is nothing. So talk and listen and talk some more. Believe me, it will make, and keep, the connection. For men, the key to connection is physical but without an emotional connection the physical connection fizzles. As I write this Stan is sitting across from me talking to me, trying to reconnect after my week away...he's scoring some brownie points.

6. Don't come on so strong. Be soft and gentle. This one could also be called Back off Bozo! Dang...do men REALLY think we want to be pawed and groped...refer to above rule!?!? CONVERSATION!

7. Most women like a little romance. Just a little. It doesn't have to be a full blown, major affair. Just a tiny, little show of something to let her know she's on your mind. What little thing does she just love? Starbucks, diet coke, a flower? Surprise her with her favorite little something. Stan will bring home a bunch of tulips every now and again because he knows it's my favorite flower. It's just a little sweet and romantic. It keeps him tops in my book.

8. Respect. Women like to be and feel respected. Aretha Franklin had it right
"R-E-S-P-E-C-T"

There are more, I am sure, but I want to keep it simple. From my expereince, men need simple rules. Stan has told me on more than one occassion that men, as a whole, are not that deep. So the more simple I keep it the better off men will be.

I do plan to put out a few other rules for both men and women to follow as we play this game of love through life.

OK, so what does this have to do with the title of my blog...for the love of my children? The more men learn about women the better off our sons and daughters will be as they begin to navigate the waters of their own love lives later on. Our sons will learn to respect women and our daughters will learn to respect themselves.

Oh for the love of our children....

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