Alright, all my teacher friends out there...what do you do when you really don't like a student? And how do you handle the parents when they know you don't like their child? Loaded questions, I know and you don't have to answer them but could you please answer the questions at the end??
I know it is too late to fix anything for this year but I need to know going forward how to help my kids handle this. This is the first time a teacher has truly shown the signs of not liking Lucas.
Lucas has always been our challenging one. I have blogged many times about the challenges of Lucas. He could drive Mother Theresa to madness with some of his past behavior. So I know he could drive a teacher over the edge with his behavior. I adore Lucas, though. He is a one in a million...driving you crazy with his wild side one minute, cracking you up with his wit and humor the next and then going on to melt your heart with a kind word or hug. There are few people in this world who don't love Lucas. Unfortuntately for him, this teacher seems to be one.
Here's our side of the story...I know there are two sides to every story and I can only share mine with you.
As I've blogged about in the past, this year has seen Lucas struggle more than he ever has since he was diagnosed with ADHD. We have played with his meds and dosages for the first time ever. (We have been lucky to go this long without any adjustment to dosages and types of medicine.) I have been honest with his teachers regarding his struggles this year. I have kept them abreast ~ though not overly informed ~ of what is going on in his growing, 12 year old boy brain. Lucas has presented challenges to everyone this year and he is no angel, I am sure.
What I am sure of, is that we have encouraged him to take responsibility with his teachers, making sure when he has a question he is the one to make contact. His school has all of the teacher's emails listed on the kids' online schedules for quick and easy access to their teacher when a question comes up about an assignment or there is a problem. The school, and I would say our county, encourages email interaction with the teachers. I make sure Lucas is the one to send emails to his teachers. I have read the emails and approved them before hitting the send button, so I know none are inappropriate. This teacher is the ONLY teacher who will not respond to his emails ~ at least, in a timely manner. When she does respond it is usually after the assignment is due or Lucas is already in school and had the class. She told Lucas to stop emailing her (I didn't find this out until recently) so I took over emailing her with his questions, putting my name in the subject line along with Lucas'...still no timely response.
From what Lucas tells me, she is openly hostile to him and shows her hand that she does not like him. This is coming from Lucas so I take it with a grain of salt but he does not complain about people not liking him...in fact he believes every person he meets is an old friend. He has never met a stranger. I know the truth of his perception is somewhere in the middle but I don't know how far in the middle it is.
I tell my kids to follow the rules, do your work and be respectful of your teachers. If you follow the rules and turn in your work, there is no reason to get in trouble, I tell them. It has worked, for the most part, until this teacher. Maybe Lucas is not following the rules but I would think if he were so out of control I would have been contacted by the teacher or principal. Am I wrong to think that?
So teachers, what, as a parent, should I do in this type of a situation? ~ Suck it up, Stan says but is that the answer...suck it up??
Maybe this is also a question for parents as well, how do we handle it when someone doesn't like our kid? What's the best way to teach our kiddos to come out on top?
Ooooooooh, for the love of...our children!