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Sunday, September 4, 2011

Don't Ask A Question...

...If you really don't want to know the answer.  I learned this a long time ago from an old boyfriend.  He wasn't the nicest of guys and he loved to play with my head.  He loved to keep me hanging and wondering.  When I would finally screw up my courage to ask him where he was the night before or where our relationship was going he would say "You asked the question but do you really want to know the answer?"  The fear that question bred in me has stuck to this very day.  But I'm a little more brave now and I do want to hear the answers to the questions I ask.  I never want to be kept in the dark.

My blogging partner, Julie, on my other blog, Perfect Mamas Confess (http://www.perfectmamasconfess.com/) recently stumbled across a potential infidelity.  She's not sure about what she saw but she's pretty sure she saw a friend, in a compromising position, with someone other than the spouse.  Julie and I wrote about it last night and our blog got me to thinking about the question "Don't ask the question if you really don't want to know the answer.

Infidelity is such a touchy and scary subject ~ touchy because no one wants to admit it happens and scary because  the thought of our spouse being unfaithful brings waves of fear creeping into our thougths.   The thought of a spouse going out and finding love or comfort in the arms of another is more than most of us want to accept.

Back to our blog on Perfect Mamas Confess...

Maybe the spouse of the potential adulterer knows there could be cheating involved but doesn't want to ask the question.  It's too scary for them to think what the outcome could be if aldultery is really being committed.   I guess we'll have to wait and see what really is going on.

I know, though, from a year of living in the dark with my old boyfriend I would much rather know the truth, ask the question and hear the answer...even if the given answer was not what I wanted to hear.  I wouldn't want to be in the dark.  I wouldn't want to live in fear of finding out something when I wasn't prepared..  I wouldn't want to wake up every morning wondering if this was the day the bomb would drop.  I would want know to know the answer if I thought infidelity was making an insidious creep into our marriage.  I would want to be brave and face the consequences of an answer I didn't want to hear rather than to live a life of lies...for the love of my children.

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