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Saturday, March 24, 2012

Flying

Whew....I feel like time is flying and flying fast.  I can seem to stop long enough to come up for air and truthfully, I'm not sure I want to.  I am fully immersed in the day to day running and carting of my kiddos.  But I see this time quickly screeching to a halt.  Zach can be a fully licensed driver in two months and a day.  And then my time of being his beck and call mama comes to an end.  And I really don't want it to end.  I really want to hang on tight and stretch these last two months out.

I like my time in the car with him, with them.  I like the chats we have while we are going to and from places.  I like the quiet and easy companionship those trips give us.  I like to see their faces brighten when I pull up to pick them up.  Simply put, I like being with them.

I know the time is coming for Zach to test out his wings a little.  I see him flexing the feathers, getting ready for his first solo flight.  I know it's inevitable but that doesn't mean I have to like it one little bit.  And I don't.  I would rather suffer the eye rolling when I'm a little late than to have a kiddo ready to experience a little independence.

I'm not old enough to have a 16 year old, I whine to myself.  There is no way he's ready to be a fully licensed driver, I groan inwardly.  But deep down I know it's true.  And deep down, I know I have to accept the fact that time has flown by and Zach is nearly ready to experience his first taste of freedom behind the wheel of a car....without me by his side.

Zach has earned it, though.  He is showing us day by day that he is responsible.  He is proving to be a good and conscientious driver, always maintaining his speed and being careful of happenings around him.  He is being a good big brother to both his sister and his brother...trying to teach them and not to screech at them when they screw up.  He is sticking to his curfew, always making sure to come home well before the time on the clock is anywhere near the time he needs to be home.  He is trying to show us that he is ready.

But I am not.

Damn, I think to myself, wondering why I didn't pay more attention to the little old grandmas who told me to enjoy every single second of time with my kids because time flies by so quickly.  The days can be long but the years are flying by.

Oh, for the love of my children....

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