This afternoon, as I came home from running errands in the pouring down rain, Lucas asked me if he could go ice skating with friends. I was cold, wet and a little grumpy as I came trooping in from the car, my arms loaded with groceries. I wasn't in the best mood and it probably wasn't the best time for Lucas to ask me if he could go skating from 8 until 11 tonight. All I had in mind for the evening was a pair of yoga pants, a blanket, a glass of wine and a good movie...hunkered down in the house, not out running kids to and from the skating rink. So my first response was a knee-jerk "NO!"
And then I looked at his face. There was something a little shifty going on in his head. I could see the wheels spinning as the question sprang forth from his lips "Why can't I go?" Alarm bells were going off in my head. I don't know why, but something seemed wrong about his demeanor. My question was in response was "who is going?" The response I got sealed the deal for Lucas not going skating tonight..."I don't know, Mom. Just some kids from school ~ kids you don't know." That's not the type of answer this mama likes to hear...especially when it comes to Lucas. I need to know his friends. I need to trust his friends. And after looking at his face today when he asked if he could go to the ice rink I need to know that his friends will be a good influence on him.
It's not that I don't trust Lucas. I trust him to tell me the truth. He's a bean spiller. He always has been and hopefully he always will be. Case in point...we had ordered new skates or a new stick for hockey and Lucas was waiting and waiting and waiting for it to arrive. UPS was the carrier and everyday after school Lucas would wait on the porch hoping that his new piece of hockey equipment would arrive. After about a week of waiting, with nothing arriving, he got frustrated and he flipped off the UPS driver as he drove down the street. I never would have known he gave the UPS guy the bird. Never. But Lucas came to me and told me exactly what he had done...he was mortified and very ashamed of his behavior. I almost couldn't contain my laughter. I am sure my eyes gave away the fact that I thought his confession was funny as hell. But I gave him a stern talking to and made him promise to never flip off the UPS guy again! He promised. And he still comes to me with little confessions so I think I can trust him to tell me the truth.
What I don't trust is his judgement and common sense. Last night as we were coming home from lacrosse practice he begged me to stop at 7-11 so he could get something to drink...he was dying of thirst, he told me. He forgot his water bottle at home so I had pity on him and stopped. I sent him in with $2...more than enough for a gatorade or water. He comes sauntering out with a giant can of Arizona sweet iced tea...REALLY, Lucas??? I shook my head and sent him back into the store for something more appropriate for an after practice thirst quencher. The common sense was not there.
I know there will come a day when I will have to loosen the apron strings a little. I know Lucas will have friends I don't know but for now, while I can, I'm going to keep him in friend lockdown...only letting him go places with kids I know.
Oh for the love of my children...