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Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Romance in Bloom

Zach is planning to ask the girl he likes to homecoming today.

I asked him what his plan was and he filled me in.  One of his friends, who is a girl, made a poster for him, complete with sparkles, hearts and the word "homecoming" in BIG letters. So this is his plan...the girl he likes is on crutches and is hobbling about the school, using the elevator to get from floor to floor.  As the object of Zach's affection goes to leave the cafeteria after lunch today, she will make her way to the elevator while Zach runs up the stairs to greet her with his poster as she exits the elevator.  What a remarkably sweet plan, I told him.  Not too over the top or over thought out, just the right amount of sweetness and romance.

I told Stan about Zach's plan and his response was classic Stan..."That seems a little elaborate. Why can't he just ask her to homecoming?"  Mr. Romance strikes again.

I asked Stan if he ever had good friends who were girls.  He looked a me with a bit of a bewildered stare and said "No, I don't think so."  He doesn't have sisters either, so the whole romance thing skipped right on by him.  His dad has often told his mom, when she's remarked about a pretty piece of jewelry, "your children are your jewels," complete with a deadpan tone.  Stan didn't land far from the non-romance tree.  Now, to be fair, he has never had the influence of women in his life, leading him to see how romance can be important to relationships.  And to be further fair, he has done a few romantic things for me in our marriage and he does buy me tulips when he sees them because he knows they are my favorite flower.  But for the most part, Stan doesn't get with the whole romance thing.

Kids now make friends with the opposite gender.  I know Claire has two guys she considers good friends.  Lucas is well versed with talking to girls, he's comfortable and confident when it comes to the opposite gender.  Zach, well, he has a girl who's a friend who made a poster for him so he could ask a date to homecoming.  Stan, who hasn't had the influence of peers who were female, or sisters, in  his life got me to thinking, maybe it's a generational thing...this whole aversion to romance.  When we were kids, I considered boys the enemy and when I got a little older they became "love interests."  I have several guys I consider good friends now but in high school, not so much.  And starting my junior year I had a boyfriend who would turn green with jealousy if I even looked at another guy so that kind of ruled out making friends with guys.  So maybe it really is generational this whole boy/girl friend thing helping to promote romance.

Stan thinks this turn toward asking girls to homecoming or prom with elaborate plans is really just a further decline into the excesses our kids are given.  He thinks kids now have to see fireworks shoots out of someone's ass constantly in order for them to be entertained.  Stan thinks our kids are so conditioned to the bigger and the better and more of something is always the right thing.

Maybe that's true...

But I'm gonna stick with the sweetness of seeing romance being encouraged.  Stan and I are going to have to agree to disagree on this one.  I'm going to encourage my kiddos to have good friends with the opposite sex...it gives them some much needed insight on the inner workings of the other gender's brain.  I'm gonna praise my boys to high heaven when they choose to do something sweet and a little romantic for the girls they like.  I'll help them avoid excess...sometimes that's a little creepy (we've all known that guy).  I like seeing romance in bloom. 

Oh, for the love of my children....

(As for the results...I just asked Zach if she was excited when she saw him and he said "DUH!"  And she did say yes to homecoming!!!  Good for you, Zach!!)

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