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Thursday, November 29, 2012

I've Been Watching You

Dear Zach,

The other day you and I were sitting at the kitchen counter chatting, eating a snack and listening to one of our favorite Pandora stations, Zac Brown Band Radio, when Rodney Atkins song "Watching You" came on.  You quietly started singing along, going on to say how much you really liked that song.  I thought it was more than cute that you would admit to liking such a sweet song about a dad and his son.  A few days later the song came on again when I was alone in the car.  I focused in on the lyrics and founder it even sweeter that you would like that song so much.

(Please know, I do not pretend to own any part of this song.  I'm just paying tribute to a great song, from a great singer who touched the heart of not only me but my oldest son as well.)

As I listened to the lyrics images of you as a small boy came bounding into my head.  Couple the song with the stack of letters I found from when Dad was in Bosnia where you were the focus of my life and nostalgia washed over me like a tsunami.  Scenes from days long gone played in my mind as I headed home...

Images of you as a little boy, wanting to grow up to be big and strong just like Dad floated through my head.  Images of you needing us to hold you up and hold your hand tugged at my heart.  Hearing the chorus of the song brought images of long ago you to the forefront of my brain.  As Rodney sang these words I began running through pictures that fit along with the lyrics...

"He said 'I"ve been watching you dad, ain't that cool?
I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are
We like fixing things and holding mama's hand
Yeah we're just alike, hey ain't we dad?
I wanna do everything you do
So I've been watching you'"


When you were little you wanted to grow up to be just like Dad.  Watching you sing the words along with Rodney I remember when Dad dressed you up in his BDU top and his cap, you were over the moon excited to show me how you wanted to be just like Dad.



Thinking about all of these pictures brought many more snapshots of you as a little boy, who wanted to be just like his dad, floating into my memories and so today, I went in search of those memories which seem to be accumulating faster and faster as the years fly by.


I took my time strolling down memory lane, reliving some of my fondest memories of a little boy with curly blond hair and honey brown eyes. During my trip down memory lane, I came up some of my favorite pictures of you loving every minute of time with your dad and striving so hard to be like your dad...








Our time with you has flown by.  I can't believe you are nearly half way through your junior year of high school.  My throat constricts and tears rim my eyes when I think of how short my time with you is.  You are one in a million, my sweet man child.  And if there is anyone on earth I would want you to strive to you like it would be your dad.  So, my love, keep watching him, because it's pretty cool.  You'll always be his little buckaroo, in my mind at least.  You now stand nearly eye to eye with your dad...that must have been because you ate all your food so you could grow as tall as he is. You still like fixing things but now holding my hand has given way to enveloping me in giant bear hugs.  You are so much like your dad.  I couldn't be more proud of the kind of young adult you are becoming.  

He said 'I"ve been watching you dad, ain't that cool?  
I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are
We like fixing things and holding mama's hand
Yeah we're just alike, hey ain't we dad?
I wanna do everything you do
So I've been watching you'"

You are growing far too quickly, Zach, and I'm powerless to stop it but know...I will cherish every single minute I've been blessed with being your mom.

With love, now and always...
Mom


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