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Sunday, March 17, 2013

What Would Jenni Think?

This is a new game one of the dance dads came up with at the girls' dance competition yesterday.

As most of you know, I can be a little wild, a little out there, a little crazy.  I see  nothing wrong with the belly ring I have.  I'm all about a glass of wine, or even two, with lunch.  I love a good girls' weekend.  I think raunchy jokes are more than a little funny.  I have no problem with the words crap, damn or shit, and I think the best word ever for conveying almost any meanings is fuck!  I've been known to drop said f-bomb on more than one occasion and multiple times in one sentence.  I adore pushing the limits of conventional society.  I like to spring cartwheels in the middle of the dance floor on girls' weekends, and I'm not afraid to wear a string bikini on the beach.  In other words, I'm not someone most people would look at and say "oh man, she's one conservative lady."  In fact, I'm not sure most who know me would say the words "lady" and "Jenni" in the same sentence and certainly not when referring to me.

So, I guess it can come as quite a shock to some when I sit in the audience at dance competitions and "tut-tut" when I see these girls strutting, shimmying and gyrating all over the dance floor in their teeny-tiny costumes that leave little to the imagination.  Hence the game that Dance Dad Carl came up with ~ "What Would Jenni Think?"

As a new group of girls came on to the stage, costumes Carl told me about his new game.  He was a little surprised at the last competition when he realized how conservative I am when it comes to young girls on stage.  So Carl decided it would be fun to try and figure out what conservative Jenni would think and made up a game about how I might react...What Would Jenni Think?

His game takes into consideration the costumes of the girls.  Will they pass my test?  Are they age appropriate or not?  And then the game continues with questions about whether their dances will contain the shimmying, gyrating, slow hip circling moves that most young girls who dance don't ever need to know, unless they're looking to continue their careers in the field of stripping.  It's quite a fun game to play, and not one I know the answer to until the dance is over.  I can take in a costume and not be overly enthusiastic about it, wondering what the dance will look like if the costume is a little slutty.  There was a group yesterday I was sure would fail my test based on their costumes but their dance was awesome, entertaining and completely appropriate.  It was hip hop at its purest form. Their costumes could have swung either way but in the end, the girls won the game.  Jenni approved.

Talk of the game started before this group came out and passed my test.  Talk of the game actually started as Carl and I sat talking about another routine from the competition.  The girls who danced to the song "Bend and Snap" failed the game...miserably.  I sat in stunned silence as the girls took the stage in short ruffled plaid skirts and matching, tight fitting vests.  Listening to the lyrics while watching the girls bend over was enough to nearly send me into a conservative tailspin.  Where the hell were these mothers?  What the hell were they thinking?  Or were they thinking at all?  The lyrics played on and on...

Look at my ass
Look at my thighs
I'm catnip to the guys
They chase my tail
They drool and pant
Wanna touch this but they can't

No! All the boys want to come and play
Snap my fingers and they obey
Why do they follow me around all day
Watch me while I walk away

I bend and snap
Feel how hot it's getting
Bend and snap
Then when you got em sweatin'
Spring the trap
They cheer and clap
No tight end can defend against the bend and snap....

Hey wait a second
When I beckoned
Look how the guys came runnin'
Like I'm

Kickin!

Finger

Lickin'!

Like I'm frickin'

Wicked stunnin'!

The song was complete with moves to go along with the lyrics...young bums bending over facing the audience while gyrating in a circle, fingers being licked as the words "finger lickin'" sang out through the auditorium.  Awful.  That's the only way to describe this dance. They failed mightily at the "What Would Jenni Think" game.  Carl won.  He knew what I thought of their routine.

Carl's wife, Beverly, got in on the fun and went on to coin a new phrase..."Slutty Dance Mom."  Watching the girls who fail to pass the "What Would Jenni Think?" question in Carl's game got us to talking about where the parents are when it comes to allowing their girls to dance like that, and the term "slutty dance mom" was born.  These are the moms who seem to live vicariously through their daughter's dancing.  They are the ones I imagine love to see their daughters strut their stuff and shake their asses for a room full of strangers.  These are the dance moms who obviously don't cringe at the thought of anybody being able to walk into the auditorium and watch these young girls grind their hips provocatively.  "Slutty Dance Mom" must not be bothered by the fact that creepy perverts could be sitting in the audience.  Beverly noted there is not one single slutty dance mom in our studio.  Thank heavens!

Carl's game cracked me up.  "What Would Jenni Think?"  It's hysterical and seems so anti-me.  I'm glad I can provide such entertainment and that my conservative nature when it comes to our girls has been made into a game.  Beverly's coined phrase is perfect.  I have to say I'm glad I'm not one, and that I don't know any.  I'm glad to be surrounded by people who know how important it is to keep our girlies safe.

"WWJT?" is for the love of all of our girls!    

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