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Monday, April 27, 2015

I've Failed

Dear Darlings,

I know this is a letter many parents would want to write to their children, if they could. I know many parents have felt the way I'm feeling right now. I feel like I've failed you, and I want to say I'm sorry I didn't do the right thing for you from the beginning. 

The truth is, though, I thought I could handle your problem on my own. I didn't want to admit that I needed someone to help me help you. I wanted my words and my counsel to be enough for you. But it wasn't and now I have to be the one to find a way to fix what's broken. I have to find someone who can work with us to help you. 

It's going to take time and patience to get back to a place where I don't feel like I failed you. It's not going to be an easy road. I hope you can forgive me. I hope all kids can forgive their parents for their shortcomings. I hope all parents can ask for forgiveness when they need to. I want nothing more than for all of my darlings to understand that we, as parents, are only human and sometimes we screw up. And sometimes we fail. 

Darlings, please know that I never intended to let you down, or make things harder for you. I just didn't realize that I needed more than my own counsel. I needed more than what I could provide. You all aren't little anymore. Mama hugs, love and magic band aids don't always fix what's broken anymore. I know that now. 

I'll probably screw up and fail you again, but please know I do absolutely everything in life for the love of my children...


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