I sit here in my kitchen with my head throbbing. My neck muscles are tight and pinched, causing my eyes to squint and lose focus as I rotate my head from side to side trying with all of my might to release the knots at the base of my skull. It's not working. The knots seem to be growing tighter while my head sways back and forth and side to side.
Yesterday, a trepidatious voice asked me for advice. And for the first time ever I had no words of guidance to offer. What kind of advice was sought is neither here nor there. The fact that I have no earthly idea how to help solve the problem is my dilemma, and it's causing my heart to fracture into a tiny million pieces.
It's one of those times when, as a mama, you truly 100% wish you had a magic bandaid to sweep away the pain, hurt, confusion, anger. But I don't. I don't have a magic band, nor do I have any magical words of wisdom. My heart constricts, wishing I had both of those things.
The one good thing to come out of this is knowing my advice is sought after, and that I am trusted.
In the world of raising our kiddos, I've tried my hardest to not judge, punitively punish, embarrass, shame or disregard feelings of any of them. My goal in this great, big world of parenting is to make sure any child who passes through our doors know they are loved and respected. My aspiration with my own kiddos is to ensure they grow up to be well-rounded, polite, thoughtful, kind, loving and successful human beings.
Will they make mistakes? Absolutely. Will there be errors in judgement? Without a doubt. Will they always listen to my advice? Definitely not. Will they have to accept the consequences when they screw up? You bet!
But will they talk to me when they need to? They just proved they will. Will they trust me to listen to what they have to say? I have to say, I think so.
I wish I could find the words of advice needed this time. Maybe then the throbbing in my temples would go away, and my neck muscles would relax. I only hope I'll find the words next time my advice is sought, because ... I'm beyond thankful to know there will be another time where they know they can come to me. I will listen with no judgement and no recriminations. I will try my hardest to find the words to guide them.
Oh, for the love of my children...